After 48 years: Marital Advice for you young marrieds:

1. Do NOT expect to get along all the time! It took us the first 30 years to get used to the fact that we do almost NOTHING the same way, nor do we approve of the way the other one does it. And it took 40+ years to learn to SHUT IT when we see them doing it. "Love covers a multitude of sins,” like socks on the floor, fingernail clippings in the car, and cabinet doors left open.

2. Talk it out. ALL of it. Better to have them know the real poopy than to find out later, because none of us is without a poopy side.

3. APOLOGIZE when you are a jerk, because a genuine apology, combined with a pure INTENT to not do that crap anymore, goes a long, long way. It hurts so much to try to forgive when you do not get an apology, or worse, when you get blamed for the other person's bad behavior... And "I'm sorry you're mad" is RIDICULOUS, and won't get you ANY points, NONE. So DON'T DO THAT!

4. Make sure you find quality time just for the two of you. We used a babysitter every Thursday night, because we could get one that night, and if we were broke we sat on a bench at the mall, so that's no excuse. You are growing all the time. Grow together, not apart. YOU as a couple are the building blocks of your family. The kids are the roof.

5. Make sure you get time with yourself, too. You're much less likely to order needless junk on Amazon at midnight if you've had some quality time to think your own thoughts, instead of everyone else's. By the time the first child yells "MAMA!" it's probably too late. I started running before the kids got up, when I was 28, to get some quiet time and prayer time.

6. Cover your ears, Kiddies: Lovemaking begins moments after the last round of kisses. You can't act like a twit in the morning, and expect your sweetie to like you at bedtime. FORGET IT! Because women are like elephants, and elephants NEVER FORGET, until you apologize.

7. A good exhaust fan makes for a good marriage. TMI, I realize, but just sayin', in case you haven't discussed this yet. (If you haven't discussed this yet, you're probably been married less than 24 hours...)

8. When you have an "issue," do NOT start your sentences with "You always," or "You never." Of course, I slip up with this, because he DOES ALWAYS, but if I want to be HEARD, instead of talking to a brick wall, it's better if I say something like: "I really need," or "When you do that I feel blank." And don't try to say this during the game.

9. Remember that there WILL BE people out there who look very green over there on the other side of the fence, but when you get up close they are just as rocky and full of weeds as your own spouse. Do NOT fall for that lie! Unless you want a divorce. You can NOT control who you find attractive, but you CAN control what you do with your FEET! Use them! RUN! YES! Even if you have to change jobs.

10. Divorce often starts by "making a case" for one. When you married him he was wonderful, but after years of telling your friends what a disappointment he is, you, too, will see him as one. Trust me.

11. Meditate often on WHY you married your spouse. I LIKED John. He laughed and listened and had auburn hair and killer, freckled legs, and all this made me know, Lord willing, that he was the one for me. And even during hard, dark, painful times of miscommunication and frustration, when I really wanted to go home to Mama and be a child again, I could remember the way he looked at me back then, before diapers and piano lessons, and dogs barfing in the bed.

12. Most of all, PRAY. God brought you together, and He will help you! Pray together too. Jesus is where two or three are gathered together in His name! And He loves to hear your voice!

13. My birth family all died in their 50s, in the blink of an eye, with no warning. I often think, when John is leaving, "what if today is the day?" Many times I've run out to the car for a kiss. Don't let them leave feeling unloved.

14. Say thank you! John is the bed maker, and I aim to no longer take it for granted when he does tasks around here. All of us long to be noticed and appreciated. And it makes me feel better, too, when I'm appreciative, vs. whining and complaining. I was so busy, and such a martyr, I didn't do this for a very long time. Too long...

15. PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN. Your spouse will feel ignored if what your friend is saying is more important than what he is saying. Agree to put it down sometimes.

16. Proverbs 4:23 says: "Above all else, guard your heart, for from it flows the well-spring of life." ABOVE ALL ELSE? God says ABOVE ALL ELSE? Think of all the Bible contains, written over thousands of years, yet God says ABOVE ALL ELSE? It must be really, really important!

17. If you are hurting, GET SOME HELP. Hurting people hurt other people! And if you are constantly feeling offended, there is probably some deep, infected wound that you need to have healed. You don't want to make your life choices from that wound, but from from the healed areas. We all have scars! Scars are good. Oozing wounds are not. They will haunt you AND your children!

18. Don't argue in front of the kids. They WILL use it to manipulate you. They don't mean to. But they can and they will. And they may think it's their fault that you are fighting.

19. Remember that God loves YOU BOTH, and He wants to help you. One of the best gifts you can ever give your family is to find your way to be happy yourself, because then you give THEM permission to make good choices to make their own life good also.

20. Ask yourself: "How important IS this?" Would you get that undone about an issue if you knew your spouse was going to heaven tomorrow? But, just in case he or she is NOT going to die tomorrow, it's good to ask nicely for what you need, tell them when something they're doing is just not ok, tell them daily how blessed you are to be their spouse. YOU TWO ARE WORTH IT! Much love, Mary Lou.